What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What are the signs of covert narcissistic abuse that most people miss?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Walkoff caps ‘unreal 24 hours’ for Mariners’ Cole Young - Seattle Sports

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Chart Industries and Flowserve Corporation to Combine in All-Stock Merger of Equals, Creating a Differentiated Leader in Industrial Process Technologies - Business Wire

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

TEXT:

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do people smoke?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Make Nazis afraid again!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why do untreated borderlines always blame their partners when they actually think they are normal?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Have you ever had a weird experience immediately following the death of a loved one that made you think there is an afterlife and that the deceased person was communicating with you?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

I gave him everything. He said he loved me. Why?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

The FCC is cracking down on EchoStar’s deployment of 5G. - The Verge

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Why does an older married man turn bisexual?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Don't Make This Mistake When Setting Up Your Switch 2 - Kotaku

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.